Why Not Me?
by Simonkal of Inuy
Summary: Inuyasha finally comes to terms with his feeling for the two women in his life...(Completed for now, depending on the reviews I might take it out for a few more chapters)


**Author's Notes**: Okay people this is my first fic so, please review. I know there are a quite a few of you out there that I've reviewed and probably ripped your stories to shreds so here's your chance… Let me know what you think!

**Disclaimer: Inuyasha does not belong to me AT ALL!**

**_Editied version_**

"What's all that noise about?" he asked himself, as he sat on a boulder not far from the hot spring the girl and her friend was using. _'If we were hiding from someone, we would've been found out by now…with all that damn noise their making,' _he thought as he turned and tried to get a peep at just what they were doing.

He then thought better of it, "Feh, that's not worth being 'sat' on a boulder over," he said with a smirk, knowing that he was lying to himself. What wouldn't he give to get just one more glance at Kagome? It had been so long since he'd seen her, in all her glory.

_'If the monk was here, I could use him, but no he had to go back to that damn monastery to do what ever the hell it is he does there, heh!' _

"Why in the hell do I care? I'm not a lecher, and besides, I have a pretty vivid imagination," he stated, reclining back with his hands behind his head. Smiling to himself, he mumbled, "Inuyasha, you've got to get a grip, when did you start talking to yourself?"

_'Shit there I go again,'_ he thought while closing his eyes, yet making sure his other senses were alert to their surrounding.

The hanyou sat up quickly and sniffed, then sniffed again. "Kikyo," he whispered softly. Knowing that the smell of bones and earth...the chill of death, could be no one else.

_'Why is she here? What does she want?' _

Looking towards the night sky he immediately noticed her Soul Collectors hovering just above the tree tops, calling to him, alerting him that his presence is requested.

'_53 years ago things were so different. There was nothing I wouldn't have done for her.' _he thought sullenly. '_I remember sitting on the outskirts of her village praying that I could just get a whiff of her scent, and that would be enough to get me through the day.' _Grimacing at that thought, his thoughts continued, '_If I saw her or perhaps was able to walk with her, that would've made my month. Just the thought that she was not afraid of me made my heart beat 100 times faster. When she smiled, even though her smile was never really directed at me, it made my skin become feverish. I would follow her around like a lost puppy, hoping that one day perhaps she would welcome me into her village, maybe even her arms, or maybe...just maybe, she would tell me that I was worth something.' _

He smiled to himself as his mind took another trip down memory lane.

_'We were crossing the river. I can't remember exactly where we were coming from or going, but when she stepped out the boat, she stumbled and fell into my arms. That was the first time anyone besides my mother had touched me without trying to harm me in some kind of way. That's when it happened...that's when I decided that if it would make her touch me more like that, then I'd do whatever she asked me to do. I would remain at her side as her mate if she wanted or as her puppy, which I already felt I was. _

"Damn I was pathetic," he whispered with a shake his head.

Turning his face skyward to gaze once more at the silver slithery snakes that still swam just above the tree tops, he thought,_ 'When you asked me to use the jewel to become human, I was overjoyed, because I knew that then we could be together as man and wife, as you had called it.' _Sighing, he hung his head and stated just above a whisper, "Kikyo, what a difference 5 centuries make."

The hanyou turned his gaze away from the soul collectors and towards the raven haired beauty, still sitting less than 30 yards away from him. Their eyes met and locked on one another.

"She knows that I'm looking at her. W...why is she smiling at me, and not sitting me?" Staring more intently at her, he thought, _'Does she know I need her? Does she feel my soul calling to hers? Can she hear my heart pounding? How could she? It really doesn't matter, does it?' Regardless, Kagome knows me better than I know myself. She's never been afraid of me, even in the beginning when I tried to take the jewel from her. She's never been disgusted by the mere thought of touching me or me touching her. No matter how nasty I get or how much I curse her, she's always there. When she goes home, she always comes back to me." _

Fingering the gold locket that she had given him a few years ago, his thoughts continued, '_She's the only person other than my mother and father that has given me anything. All Kikyo wanted to give me was this damn rosary of submission, and to take my heritage from me. But Kagome, she gives me so much...so much, that no matter how many demons I have to kill for her, or how many times I have to die for her, I would never be able to repay her for what she's done for me..to me.' _

Placing the locket back inside his haori, against his skin where it was closest to his heart, he whispered, "Do you know, Kagome, that it's you I owe my life to?"

The wind picked up around him, tossing his long silver-white mane into his face and drawing him him out of his reverie. He noticed immediately that Kagome and Sango had gotten out of the hot spring and were somewhere close by getting dress.

Glancing in the direction of where Kikyo was still waiting for him, he stated into the wind, as if it would take the message to her, "For 50 years I was sealed to the Goshinbuko, lingering somewhere between life and death, because there was no trust between us, Kikyo. I 'm not sure if it was love, but I did care about you and at that time I would've have happily given my life to you. But for the past 3 years, she's loved me, she's cared for me, and she's forgiven me for my mistakes. She awakened me to a life that I did not know existed, she doesn't ask that I give up apart of myself to be with her; she accepts me as I am. No, Kikyo I will to come to you. I will not hurt her again, not for you, not for anyone." Sparing a moment longer to look upon the Soul Collectors, he watched as they slowly began to descend back into the cover of trees as if they had...she had actually heard him.

"Inuyasha?" Kagome stated softly, standing just below the boulder that he was sitting on.

Gazing down at her, he smiled slightly, but didn't say anything.

"I'm ready if you are. Sango already went back to camp to start dinner," she whispered softly, trying hard to pretend she hadn't seen the soul collectors.

Inuyasha jumped from the boulder landing directly in front of her. They stood there face to face for a moment just staring at one another.

"You smell nice," he whispered in a voice that was barely audible. Before she could respond, he grasped her hand and squeezed it gently as they turned to leave, headed back in the direction of where their friends were patiently waiting for them.

_**Fin**_


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